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Abil Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

all my excitement disappeared

As it was obvious that I broke the rule, all my excitement disappeared into the thin air and a loom of fear immediately overtook me. My elder brother and my cousin had already begun searching for me. At last they found me on the way. With a lantern on his hand, my brother was obviously overjoyed to find me but for some unknown reasons
he concealed his expression. Instead, he pretended to be serious and rebuked me for breaking the rule. But I knew inside his heart he was lamenting that he had missed the match.

"You are going to have some (beating) today. Mother and father are tearing their hairs wondering where you might have gone" he said. I was worried to the bone and did not utter a word.

Are there any mistakes? Thanks
  

Top answer

My try: As it was obvious that I broke the rule, all my excitement disappeared into the thin air and a loom of fear immediately overtook me. My elder brother and my cousin had already begun searching for me. At last they found me on the way -- to where??

  • My try: As it was obvious that I broke the rule, all my excitement disappeared into the thin air and a loom of fear immediately overtook me.
  • My elder brother and my cousin had already begun searching for me.
  • At last they found me on the way -- to where??
  • With a lantern on (in) his hand, my brother was obviously overjoyed to find me but for some unknown reasons he concealed his expression (I would write it: he didn't let his feelings known.
  • Instead, he pretended to be serious and rebuked me for breaking the rule.
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2 Answers
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My try:

As it was obvious that I broke the rule, all my excitement disappeared into the thin air and a loom of fear immediately overtook me. My elder brother and my cousin had already begun searching for me. At last they found me on the way -- to where?? . With a lantern on (in) his hand, my brother was obviously overjoyed to find me but for some unknown reasons
he concealed his expr
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Thanks anon.

What substitute can you suggest for "beating"?

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