Advice on "Classification Essay"

Hey everyone! First-timer to this forum. Was wondering if anyone can help me out? I recently wrote an essay for my Critical Writing class (English 102) at college. Unfortunately, it didn't do too well. My instructor said that it was too vague and didn't have very good examples. He likes the following format:

Thesis statement, forcast, definition paragraph, example paragraph, definition paragraph, example paragraph, etc. to conclusion.

Would anyone be willing to read it and give me some advice on how to raise this from a C+ to a better grade? ***

Thanks in advance!

P.S. The works cited page was removed below because it has no bearing on the grade (but I left the inline cites).

--- Begin essay ---


Joseph Smith – Religious Hero

Such an interesting topic for an essay – what classifies as a hero? And determining if a specific individual satisfies this criteria. The word “hero” can potentially be applied with a very wide and indiscriminate brush. For my audience, I would address my fellow classmates in my English class. The reason for this is quite simple – the individual that I would measure up to this is a religious figure. Most discussions about religion in general are either not well received by a closed-minded or intolerant audience or can be considered “preaching to the choir.” This class can look past the religious undertones and focus instead on the criteria for what a hero is, and if my choice measures up to this criteria.
So what is a hero? Let's start with the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, it states that a hero is “a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities; one that shows great courage.” The Wikipedia Encyclopedia tells us that courage is “the ability to confront fear in the face of pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation.” Niall Richardson, a PhD student at the University of Ulster, writes an article in the Journal of Popular Culture defining Superman as having the qualities of a hero because “he is self-sacrificing; he performs good deeds simply for the benefit of mankind and not for personal benefit.” Finally, George Manning and Kent Curtis, both professors at Northern Kentucky University, have written a book entitled The Art of Leadership in which they label a hero as “one who inspires through manners and actions; an individual who leads through personal example and accomplishments requiring bravery, skill, determination, and other admirable qualities.” So, in short, a hero is one who is courageous, noble, self-sacrificing, performs good deeds, and inspires others.
During the nineteenth century Joseph Smith, Jr., under God's direction, founded The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and translated The Book of Mormon. Does Joseph Smith satisfy the above requirements that define a hero? Was he courageous? Noble? Self-sacrificing? Did he perform good deeds? Does he inspire others? Let's look at each of these requirements and see how Joseph measures up.
Joseph Smith was an exemplar of courage. He was repeatedly in situations where he was surrounded by danger and was constantly harassed and threatened by men who wanted to take his life. Yet, he never wavered in his convictions. Jusat days before he was assassinated he turned himself in at Carthage, Illinois he said, "I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; but I am calm as a summer's morning; I have a conscience void of offense towards God, and towards all men. I shall die innocent, and it shall yet be said of me – he was murdered in cold blood.” (Doctrine and Covenants 135:4)
A person who is noble is one who has fine personal qualities. An example of these fine qualities came to light in a story related by David Whitmer, a friend of Joseph, in which he said, “one morning when he was getting ready to continue the translation [of The Book of Mormon], something went wrong about the house and [Joseph] was put out about it... something that Emma... had done. Oliver and I [David] went upstairs and Joseph came up soon after to continue the translation but he could not do anything... he went downstairs, out into the orchard, and made supplication to the Lord; was gone about an hour – came back to the house, and asked Emma's forgiveness and then came upstairs where we were and then the translation went alright. He could do nothing save he was humble and faithful.” (Bushman 104) Evidentially David Whitmer was so impressed by this act of nobility that he went so far as to write it down for future generations.
The level of self-sacrifice that Joseph exhibited is astounding. He was repeatedly arrested and jailed for numerous trumped-up charges – none of which ever produced a guilty verdict in a court of law. He could have easily hidden from the law, but he often submitted himself to these arrests and imprisonments to protect the members of the church. One time that he was imprisoned in Liberty Jail he stated, “all the world is threatening my life, but I regard it not, for I am willing to die any time when God calls for me.” (Esplin 298)
Joseph's entire life abounded with good deeds. Example after example can be written about all of the characteristics of what a hero is and how Joseph measures up. Thus far, I've only given one example of each. Coming up with just one example of the good deeds Joseph has done is difficult considering his history. Yet, I will narrow it down to one single example that not only exemplifies his good deeds, but how he encouraged others to do good deeds as well. With so many members joining the church and immigrating to be with the other members at such a rapid rate, poverty and want were running rampant. Joseph established a Law of Consecration in which Joseph says, “that every man who has need may be ample supplied... Now for a man to consecrate his property ... to the Lord is nothing more nor less than to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the widow and fatherless, the sick and afflicted, and do all he can to administer to their relief in their afflictions, and for him and his house to serve the Lord.” (Smith 3:231)
Finally, we reach our last criteria – does Joseph Smith inspire others? The short answer to this is 'yes.' Just as with Joseph's good deeds, pinning down one example of how he inspires others is a daunting task. However, I think that Dr. Richard Bushman of Columbia University accurately sums it up by when he says, “I think anyone who studies the life of Joseph Smith, whether or not they believe he was divinely inspired, has to acknowledge him as a bold innovator. He was a man of immense power in creating new religious ideas and in attracting people to them. That I think is a simple historic fact.” (Swinton 128)
For those who are members of the church, there is a tremendous amount of awe and respect for what Joseph Smith accomplished during his life. He is revered for more than just his courage and nobility. They wonder at the love he had in being self-sacrificing and performing good deeds for others. These acts alone have inspired millions of church members world-wide as they come to know and love him.
To conclude, allow me to quote John Taylor, third president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who was with Joseph Smith when he was martyred on June 27, 1844 in Carthage, Illinois. Mr. Taylor said, “Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness (sic) of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord's anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood”. (Doctrine & Covenants 135:3)

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Stay tuned... I'm about to post my "Comparison Essay" for advice as well. ***

Again, Thanks in advance!

Rob