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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Business & Finance

Advice on application letter

Hello everyone,

I am currently applying for an intership at an international school. Since I am not a Native Speaker in English, could you please give me some advice?

Thank you in advance,
Maria

__________________________________________

Dear Sir or Madam,

Application for an internship
Department: Library or marketing

When searching the internet I came across the homepage of your international school. As the website mentioned the possibility of internships, I would like to explore this great opportunity further.

At the moment I am doing a school apprenticeship as a multilingual secretary at the “XY-Schule” in XY Germany. For improving our skills there is an internship for four weeks designated. The time period is from the 19th September to the 14th October 2016.

I have very good typing skills because I write with ten fingers and I am PC-literate. My first period included the subjects English, French and Accounting in which I received good grades. My biggest passion is to read a lot whenever there is some time therefore in my free-time. Since I had an internship at the “XY” in XY, I write book recessions for the library that are published at the homepage of them.

A work experience for four weeks in your school, especially in the marketing department or in the library, would be a pleasure for me because I could improve my English skills in talking. I like the idea of working at an international school, because I would love to pass on my interest in literature, languages and the interaction with different cultures to the students.
Furthermore your school offers a modern equipment, which I consider a good base for working and studying.

I thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
  

Top answer

Hi Maria; Your "motivation letter" is not particularly engaging. Consider these two opening paragraphs: 1. When searching the internet I came across the homepage of your international school.

  • Hi Maria; Your "motivation letter" is not particularly engaging.
  • Consider these two opening paragraphs: 1.
  • When searching the internet I came across the homepage of your international school.
  • As the website mentioned the possibility of internships, I would like to explore this great opportunity further.
  • 2.
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4 Answers
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Hi Maria;

Your "motivation letter" is not particularly engaging. Consider these two opening paragraphs:

1.
When searching the internet I came across the homepage of your international school. As the website mentioned the possibility of internships, I would like to explore this great opportunity further.

2.
At the moment I am doing an apprenticeship as
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Hi AlpheccaStars,
Thanks for your help!
Do you have any more suggestions how to make the letter sound more enganging? Or was it just the opening paragraph?
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Why don't you try to follow my example and re-post it?
Letters are always better if they are the honest words of the writer.
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AnonymousNative Speaker in English
Native Speaker of English

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