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Mkyol Posted 18 years ago
Grammar
adolescents running away #2
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Can someone tell me what's possibly wrong with the below text please, and whether it has any unnatural constructions.
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future ahead is prepared. However in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties with family are severed, and through experiencing many chaotic circumstances, it could lead to a breakaway from family and school, which results in the adolescent not going through the proper societal process for becoming a productive member of society, and even becoming an outcast of society in the end, completing a vicious circle.
Can someone tell me what's possibly wrong with the below text please, and whether it has any unnatural constructions.
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future ahead is prepared. However in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties with family are severed, and through experiencing many chaotic circumstances, it could lead to a breakaway from family and school, which results in the adolescent not going through the proper societal process for becoming a productive member of society, and even becoming an outcast of society in the end, completing a vicious circle.
Top answer
Hi, Can someone tell me what's possibly wrong with the below text please, and whether it has any unnatural constructions. Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future ahead is prepared. However , in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties with family are severed, and through experiencing many chaotic circumstances it could lead to a breakaway from family and school, which results in the adolescent not going through the proper societal process for becoming a productive member of society, and even becoming an outcast of society in the end, completing a vicious circle.
- Hi, Can someone tell me what's possibly wrong with the below text please, and whether it has any unnatural constructions.
- Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future ahead is prepared.
- However , in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties with family are severed, and through experiencing many chaotic circumstances it could lead to a breakaway from family and school, which results in the adolescent not going through the proper societal process for becoming a productive member of society, and even becoming an outcast of society in the end, completing a vicious circle.
- You need to rewrite it, probably using shorter sentences.
- Best wishes, Clive
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6 Answers
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Hi,
Can someone tell me what's possibly wrong with the below text please, and whether it has any unnatural constructions.
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future
Can someone tell me what's possibly wrong with the below text please, and whether it has any unnatural constructions.
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future
00
Thanks a lot for the reply, I see the error with 'it' now.
I've modified it to be the following:
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future is prepared. However in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties
I've modified it to be the following:
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future is prepared. However in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties
00
Hi,
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future is prepared. However, in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties with family are severed, and experiencing many chaotic circumsta
Adolescence is a very important period in one's life, where the identity of the self is formed through interaction with parents and other family members, and it is the period where one's future is prepared. However, in the case of adolescents running away from home, the relational ties with family are severed, and experiencing many chaotic circumsta
00
Thanks for the additional clarifications, that flows a lot better.
But I have a question about the 'may/can' part (where I used 'could' instead).
Is 'could' wrong (or does it have a level of wrongness to it that clearly warrants it not being used in preference to may/can)? Or is it pretty much interchangable with may/can, although maybe slightly inferior?
But I have a question about the 'may/can' part (where I used 'could' instead).
Is 'could' wrong (or does it have a level of wrongness to it that clearly warrants it not being used in preference to may/can)? Or is it pretty much interchangable with may/can, although maybe slightly inferior?
00
Hi again,
I have a question about the 'may/can' part (where I used 'could' instead).
Is 'could' wrong (or does it have a level of wrongness to it that clearly warrants it not being used in preference to may/can)? No.
Or is it pretty much interchangable with may/can, although maybe slightly in
I have a question about the 'may/can' part (where I used 'could' instead).
Is 'could' wrong (or does it have a level of wrongness to it that clearly warrants it not being used in preference to may/can)? No.
Or is it pretty much interchangable with may/can, although maybe slightly in
00
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