In a piece of mine, I have included a short poem to tie it together (a stanza is placed just after the beginning and towards the end of the piece), but I am torn about the last line of the second stanza, as it does not entirely match the active voice of the first.
In lands of pale and ashen hues Where groans an endless battle, Death stirs the blackest night.
In the crimson-stained battle fields Where once trembled a coward, A man has now been found.
Would it work better if the last line was changed to "A man finds he has been saved?", even if it means breaking the syllabic balance which exists between the two stanzas.
Thanks in advance! Emma
Top answer
Hi Emma, I actually rather like the way you expressed the last line, and I find nothing wrong with it.
— Andre Delicata
Hi Emma, I actually rather like the way you expressed the last line, and I find nothing wrong with it.
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