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Synonym Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

Accomplished

I could have been happy and satisfied if I had accomplished my role of being a perfect daughter and a perfect sister. I could have been a better person if only it would have been possible for me to notice the pain and love that my mom took, and If I would have thanked her for the special dinner she prepared/cooked for me and also noticed the love behind that surprise gift of my sister.



I want to make this sentence more shorter and grammatically right.

  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage: I could have been happy and satisfied if I had accomplished my role of being a perfect daughter and a perfect sister. I could have been a better person if only it would have been possible for me to notice I had noticed the pains and love that my mom took, and If I would have thanked her for the special dinner , she prepared/cooked for me and also noticed the love behind that surprise gift of my sister. I want to make this sentence more shorter and grammatically right.

  • I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage: I could have been happy and satisfied if I had accomplished my role of being a perfect daughter and a perfect sister.
  • I could have been a better person if only it would have been possible for me to notice I had noticed the pains and love that my mom took, and If I would have thanked her for the special dinner , she prepared/cooked for me and also noticed the love behind that surprise gift of my sister.
  • I want to make this sentence more shorter and grammatically right.
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3 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage:

I could have been happy and satisfied if I had accomplished my role of being a perfect daughter and a perfect sister. I could have been a better person if only it would have been possible for me to notice I had noticed the pains and love
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Thanks Mr. Micabwer

I could have been happy and satisfied if I had accomplished my role of being a perfect daughter and a perfect sister. I could have been a better person if only it would have been possible for me to notice I had noticed the pains and love that my mom took, and If I would have thanke
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I could have been happy if I had accomplished my roles of a perfect daughter and sister. I could have been a better person if only I had noticed the pains that my mom took, had thanked her for the special dinner, and noticed the love behind that suprise gift from my sister.

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