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Mikul Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing

Abstract for a Master's Program application form

Hi everyone! I have to correct this abstract for a Master's application form. I need to include my name, nationality, address, degree, two lines of motivation and two lines of experience. This is my attempt.

My name is xxx(32) and I am currently living in xxx at xxx Street, number 828. I moved to The Netherlands in 2011, due to the severe economic crisis emerged in Spain seven-year now, in pursuance of prosperous future. Holding a Bachelor’s Degree in Market Research and Techniques, and it was always my big desire to complete my academic background with a Master’s Program that matches my future work ambitions. I am experienced in such different fields like hospitality industry, financial and research, although I wish to develop my professional career in the last of them where I discovered my real vocation. On this line, the recognized xxx master’s program offers me the possibility to combine my two big passions; becoming a qualified researcher and working in the humanitarian relief field.
  

Top answer

Here are my suggestions: My name is ***(32) and I am currently living in *** at *** Street, number 828. I moved to The Netherlands in 2011, due to the severe, long-term economic crisis emerged in Spain seven-year now, in pursuance search of a more prosperous future. I hold Holding a Bachelor’s Degree in Market Research and Techniques, and it was always my big greatest desire to complete my academic background with a Master’s p rogram that matches my future work ambitions.

  • Here are my suggestions: My name is ***(32) and I am currently living in *** at *** Street, number 828.
  • I moved to The Netherlands in 2011, due to the severe, long-term economic crisis emerged in Spain seven-year now, in pursuance search of a more prosperous future.
  • I hold Holding a Bachelor’s Degree in Market Research and Techniques, and it was always my big greatest desire to complete my academic background with a Master’s p rogram that matches my future work ambitions.
  • I am experienced in such different fields, such as like hospitality industry, financial finance, and research, although I wish to develop my professional career in the last of them, which is where I discovered my real vocation.
  • On this line, In brief, the recognized *** Master’s program offers me the possibility to combine my two big passions of becoming a qualified researcher and working in the humanitarian relief field.
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3 Answers
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Here are my suggestions:

My name is ***(32) and I am currently living in *** at *** Street, number 828. I moved to The Netherlands in 2011, due to the severe, long-term economic crisis emerged in Spain seven-year now, in pursuance search of a more prosperous future. I hold Holding a Bachelor’s Degree in Market
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two lines of motivation and two lines of experience. You seem to have a lot more than two lines for each.

You didn't explicitly state your nationality.

Clive
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I liked your changes on my abstract about me, Doctor D. I really appreciate your help! Emotion: wink

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