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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
A tactful letter--> I need corrections :-( Help me, please!
38 Boxing Road
London
WK3294KAJ
Mr Smith
28 Searoad Avenue
London
CK39677DAJ
25th July
Dear Mr Smith,
Having been your tenant for seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat of Boxing Road nowadays.
Firstly I would like to focus on the main problem. The gas cooker is old and leaks gas that could make the flat to explode or just poison me during the night. I am sure you knew nothing about this issue; taking that into account I must insist on a cooker change as soon as possible. Moreover, the two rings in the cooker are not enough when cooking for guests so I would be pleased if the new cooker had four rings. Besides, I have to add that the oven does not close properly and that the cleaning assistants never clean the kitchen. Maybe, if you were able to speak with them this small problem would be solved.
Secondly, I would like to highlight that the heating is not enough since there are no enough electric fires. The temperature during the autumn was a bit cold, although enough for the autumn. However, I am afraid that the heating will not be enough for the long winter, which is starting soon.
To conclude, I feel that for overcome the temperature problem there are two more primary problems: the windows and the panes. The first ones do not shut properly as well as the door so I recommend that they be changed. The latter are completely broken so I would advice double-glazing instead of the change in the electric fires.
I must ask you to take into consideration these advices since they would highly improve the quality of your flat. Otherwise, I will have to do some changes by myself instead of paying for the rent.
Yours sincerely,
Ana Galán.
London
WK3294KAJ
Mr Smith
28 Searoad Avenue
London
CK39677DAJ
25th July
Dear Mr Smith,
Having been your tenant for seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat of Boxing Road nowadays.
Firstly I would like to focus on the main problem. The gas cooker is old and leaks gas that could make the flat to explode or just poison me during the night. I am sure you knew nothing about this issue; taking that into account I must insist on a cooker change as soon as possible. Moreover, the two rings in the cooker are not enough when cooking for guests so I would be pleased if the new cooker had four rings. Besides, I have to add that the oven does not close properly and that the cleaning assistants never clean the kitchen. Maybe, if you were able to speak with them this small problem would be solved.
Secondly, I would like to highlight that the heating is not enough since there are no enough electric fires. The temperature during the autumn was a bit cold, although enough for the autumn. However, I am afraid that the heating will not be enough for the long winter, which is starting soon.
To conclude, I feel that for overcome the temperature problem there are two more primary problems: the windows and the panes. The first ones do not shut properly as well as the door so I recommend that they be changed. The latter are completely broken so I would advice double-glazing instead of the change in the electric fires.
I must ask you to take into consideration these advices since they would highly improve the quality of your flat. Otherwise, I will have to do some changes by myself instead of paying for the rent.
Yours sincerely,
Ana Galán.
Top answer
38 Boxing Road Longdon WK3294KAJ Mr Smith 28 Searoad Avenue London CK39677DAJ 25th July Dear Mr Smith, Having been your tenant for the past seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat along Boxing Road. Firstly. I would like to talk about the main problem.
- 38 Boxing Road Longdon WK3294KAJ Mr Smith 28 Searoad Avenue London CK39677DAJ 25th July Dear Mr Smith, Having been your tenant for the past seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat along Boxing Road.
- Firstly.
- I would like to talk about the main problem.
- The gas cooker is old and it often leaks gas.
- It is likely to cause explosion and the gas is hazardous to my health too.
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8 Answers
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38 Boxing Road
Longdon
WK3294KAJ
Mr Smith
28 Searoad Avenue
London
CK39677DAJ
25th July
Dear Mr Smith,
Having been your tenant for the past seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat a
Longdon
WK3294KAJ
Mr Smith
28 Searoad Avenue
London
CK39677DAJ
25th July
Dear Mr Smith,
Having been your tenant for the past seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat a
00
Is this part allright? Or, did you make a mistake when checking my writing?
"You ought to take into consideration ¿of?? my advices "
I have some questions. First, you changed "focus on" by "talk about" but I don't understand why the second one is better. The sentence is: "Firstly. I would like to talk about the main problem."
Then I wrote "The gas cooker is old and leaks
"You ought to take into consideration ¿of?? my advices "
I have some questions. First, you changed "focus on" by "talk about" but I don't understand why the second one is better. The sentence is: "Firstly. I would like to talk about the main problem."
Then I wrote "The gas cooker is old and leaks
00
Here are my suggestions/modifications --
Having been your tenant for seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat along Boxing Road.
Firstly I would like to highlight the main problem. The gas cooker, which is old and leaks gas, could make the flat unsafe to live in. The flat could explode at any time
Having been your tenant for seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat along Boxing Road.
Firstly I would like to highlight the main problem. The gas cooker, which is old and leaks gas, could make the flat unsafe to live in. The flat could explode at any time
00
Hello Anon,
Could I ask whether this is a real situation, or simply an exercise?
(I ask because, if the former, you would do well to take professional advice before threatening to withhold rent, etc.)
MrP
Could I ask whether this is a real situation, or simply an exercise?
(I ask because, if the former, you would do well to take professional advice before threatening to withhold rent, etc.)
MrP
00
AnonymousIs this part allright? Or, did you make a mistake when checking my writing?
"You ought to take into consideration ¿of?? my advices "
I have some questions. First, you changed "focus on" by "talk about" but I don't understand why the second one is better. The sentence is: "Firstly. I would like to talk about the main problem."
Then I wro
00
Hello MrP, it is just an exercise, I would really take professional advice before threatening anyone! But I fail my writing exam and I need to do some corrections in my writing. They told me I am not tactful enough.. since in my mother tongue nobody is, I find this part tough so because of that I decided to write a bit and see if somebody could help me, on purpose thank you!
00
Dear Mr Smith,
Having been your tenant for seven months, I have been prompted to express my dissatisfaction with the quality of the devices and the systems in the flat of Boxing Road nowadays.
Firstly I would like to focus on the main problem. The gas cooker is old and leaks gas that could make the flat to explode or just poison
00
AnonymousHello MrP, it is just an exercise, I would really take professional advice before threatening anyone!That's a relief. I envisaged a vexed landlord turning up with a baseball bat.
(Expensive...)
MrP
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