A strange kind of speaking block

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Hi,This is not really a question that would relate to grammar per se, but you're all experts here as far as the English language goes, so I figured that there would be no harm in picking your brains about it.I sometimes struggle to make use of my vocabulary and the way I express my ideas in English when I talk to my friends on the phone. It's like the part of my brain that stores all the knowledge starts running at half capacity and I only have access to what feels like maybe 60% of what I know. What bothers me even more is that the minute I hang up, the blinders come off and without even trying I think of all these amazing expressions and phrases that would help me sound more well-spoken. And it's not just right after the call has ended. When I'm out with my dog, I get so many thoughts in terms of how I could describe something, but they don't always come to me when I need them the most. To make it even worse, I sometimes pair the wrong preposition with a specific word even though I'm perfectly aware that it's wrong and immediately correct myself. That doesn't happen to me when I'm 'talking' to myself in my head. Before you say that it's all about practice and the language becoming ingrained in my mind, I actually lived in England at some point in the past and I have a lot of English-speaking friends. I'm starting to think that maybe the language isn't for me or that perhaps I'm just an extremely slow learner. It doesn't happen to me all the time, but it's more frequent than I'd want it to be. I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it is when your brain sparks off good sentences after you're done discussing something with your friend. What's the point?My question to you is therefore this: "Is there a way I can fight this? I've been contending with this issue for a while and I'm running out of ideas. One final note. I listen to podcasts, read books in English, and write a lot in English almost every day. As you can see, I'm committed to working on myself. The problem is that there are only so many blows to my confidence I can take before giving up altogetherThank you.PS: I’m sorry for such a long post.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am no expert, but I have run into the same problem speaking languages other than my native English. My two cents, you say you "listen to podcasts, read books in English, and write a lot in English almost every day." I don't see speaking on that list. Spoken and written language are two different things. Your written English is good. You just need to speak more somehow. It's a matter of practice.

Clive · Answer

Hi Ann,

I'm very sorry that you have these difficulties. You have explained your situation very well and very objectively. At least, your written English is very good!

You have anticipated all my usual advice fo people in your situation, so I won't rehash those ideas. Instead ,here's a thought. Is there any possibility that some of your difficulties may relate to an underlying medical problem of some kind? Or to your age? Let me reassure you that I see nothing in your post to suggest that. But you could discuss this with your doctor.

I'm sure you are aware that learning English, or any foreign language, is not an easy task. Stick with it and don't give up!

Best wishes, Clive

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Ann225What bothers me even more is that the minute I hang up, the blinders come off and without even trying I think of all these amazing expressions and phrases that would help me sound more well-spoken.

I think your problem is exceedingly common, even natural. Actors call this phenomenon "stage fright". They have memorized their lines thoroughly, but that memory seems to evaporate when they have to perform.

When you are under pressure to perform "in the moment," the brain freezes up. When the pressure is gone and you are relaxed "presto!" like magic, your brain thaws. One solution is to release the pressure by acknowledging the stress and asking your friends to help you overcome it.

When you start a phone conversation with a friend, have a little speech prepared, something like this example:

I need your help in my ambition to be a fluent English speaker. I am at a point in my study of English that I have trouble accessing my knowledge when I am under the pressure of a conversation. Having to respond instantaneously causes my brain to focus on my emotional distress, and it just gets worse. So could you be patient with me and help me with this? I just need some practice with natural conversation, so if I pause to relax and recall, please give me a few seconds. If I get stuck, I might ask you how you would respond if you were on my end of the conversation. I have not figured out any better way to make progress.

If you enlist your closest friends, you will get more self-confidence and learn how to relax in a conversation.

Another suggestion is to read self-help sites or books on stage fright.
https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder/treatment/conquering-stage-fright

Finally, you might find some useful techniques that help stammerers become more fluent in their speech. President elect Biden had a terrible stammering problem as a child, and has made it publicly known.

CalifJim · Answer

Ann225the minute I hang up, the blinders come off and without even trying I think of all these amazing expressions and phrases that would help me sound more well-spoken

Ah, the famous esprit d'escalier (French expression for finding the right words too late).

Welcome to the club!

When it happens to me, I write down the "amazing phrases" and make an effort to memorize them by saying them over and over again during the following week or so.

But you have to get quite a few good nights' sleep in between. It's almost unbelievable how your brain will process this kind of thing while you're sleeping. Then one day something from all those amazing phrases you memorized will just pop out automatically months later at exactly the right time and you'll ask yourself, "Where did that come from?" You'll be pleasantly surprised.

Also, you'll find that, if your experience is anything like mine, the language centers in your brain have their up days and down days. Don't despair if you hit a down day once in a while. It's normal. Your brain is just a little overloaded temporarily.

CJ

A strange kind of speaking block

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