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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
A short personal statement! Could somebody critique this please? T
0 When I first came to the 00 of 00 , 00 , I was among hundreds of students whose future seemed unclear. Four years of high school, two years of middle school, and six years of elementary school did not help me decide what I want to do in my future. However, everything fell into place and my path became defined after taking a chemistry class. With my father with a PhD in organic chemistry, and my mother as a Registered Nurse, I always have been interested in both fields. Yet, it was not until the chemistry course I took in college, I was definite about studying in the fields of chemistry and biology. However, my top priority is to study chemistry and biology and apply them to health fields to benefit people. It was while volunteering during high school; I have met many needy people and realized how much help they need in the fields of health. 02 br
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00 00 During my four years of high school, I volunteered at a local library for LAMP—Literacy for All Monterey Park. While volunteering there, my duty was to tutor children and elderly in mostly English and some other general subjects. All my tutees were children, and only one was an adult. He was an immigrant from 01 02 00 . Because of his financial situation, he was not able to go to adult school and get proper education. He came to free tutoring offered by the city. I tutored him every week for two hours. It was in those two hours, when I was tutored, not I tutoring him, about his life, and in lives of people similar to his who needed serious care in health field. 02 br
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00 00 Xiao, when I first met him, had difficulty communicating him. However, he was very eager to learn, to be Americanized, and learned English very quickly. He had no family, and he manufactured toys for a living. The one that surprised me the most was when he told me that he had lung cancer, but he was not able to afford various treatments were offered at the hospital. Despite his lung cancer, I thought there was nothing he could do, and continued smoking. His severity of his lung cancer was signed by his continuous coughing and cringes on his face when he coughed. Only way I could help Xiao was to teach English, and help him assimilate to 01 02 00 as possible; however, I wanted to help more people like him. I started volunteering at the hospital where my mom worked. 02 br
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00 00 Volunteering at the hospital made me realize the severity of health problem in the 01 02 00 . Not only were certain medications too costly for many people, but there were many other incurable diseases as well. By deepening my study in chemistry and biology, and gaining early experience in medical fields, I desire to help and alleviate the sickness in 01 02 00 . With Hugh Edmondson Summer Fellowship Program as my starting point, I wish to make my wish come true. 02 br
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00 THANKS! 0-
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00 00 During my four years of high school, I volunteered at a local library for LAMP—Literacy for All Monterey Park. While volunteering there, my duty was to tutor children and elderly in mostly English and some other general subjects. All my tutees were children, and only one was an adult. He was an immigrant from 01 02 00 . Because of his financial situation, he was not able to go to adult school and get proper education. He came to free tutoring offered by the city. I tutored him every week for two hours. It was in those two hours, when I was tutored, not I tutoring him, about his life, and in lives of people similar to his who needed serious care in health field. 02 br
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00 00 Xiao, when I first met him, had difficulty communicating him. However, he was very eager to learn, to be Americanized, and learned English very quickly. He had no family, and he manufactured toys for a living. The one that surprised me the most was when he told me that he had lung cancer, but he was not able to afford various treatments were offered at the hospital. Despite his lung cancer, I thought there was nothing he could do, and continued smoking. His severity of his lung cancer was signed by his continuous coughing and cringes on his face when he coughed. Only way I could help Xiao was to teach English, and help him assimilate to 01 02 00 as possible; however, I wanted to help more people like him. I started volunteering at the hospital where my mom worked. 02 br
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00 00 Volunteering at the hospital made me realize the severity of health problem in the 01 02 00 . Not only were certain medications too costly for many people, but there were many other incurable diseases as well. By deepening my study in chemistry and biology, and gaining early experience in medical fields, I desire to help and alleviate the sickness in 01 02 00 . With Hugh Edmondson Summer Fellowship Program as my starting point, I wish to make my wish come true. 02 br
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00 THANKS! 0-
Top answer
0 01 blockquote 01 cite 10 Anonymous 12 cite 10 When I first came to the 10 of 10 , 10 , I was among hundreds of students whose future seemed unclear. Four years of high school, two years of middle school, and six years of elementary school 11 b 10 (Flip the order around) 12 b 10 did not help me decide what I want to do in my future. However, everything fell into place and my path became defined after taking a chemistry class.
- 0 01 blockquote 01 cite 10 Anonymous 12 cite 10 When I first came to the 10 of 10 , 10 , I was among hundreds of students whose future seemed unclear.
- Four years of high school, two years of middle school, and six years of elementary school 11 b 10 (Flip the order around) 12 b 10 did not help me decide what I want to do in my future.
- However, everything fell into place and my path became defined after taking a chemistry class.
- With my father with a 11 b 10 PhD (periods) 12 b 10 in organic chemistry, and my mother as a Registered Nurse, I always have been interested in both fields.
- Yet, it was not until the chemistry course I took in college 11 b 10 ____ 12 b 10 I was definite about studying in the fields of chemistry and biology.
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1 Answers
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0 01 blockquote
01 cite 10 Anonymous 12 cite 10 When I first came to the 10 of 10 , 10 , I was among hundreds of students whose future seemed unclear. Four years of high school, two years of middle school, and six years of elementary school 11 b 10 (Flip the order around) 12 b 10 did not help me decide what I want to do in my future.
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