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Springmeans Posted 14 years ago
Letter Writing
a short paragraphed letter
Can anyone help me helping this high school student please? This is a part of (body) letter to the school she is applying for. I broke up the whole letter into two different questions so it's not too long to fix.Thanks.
[part ll]
As I am good with numbers, I would like to work in accounting firm in future. This would require not only good grades from school, but also a balanced development in academic such as moral, physical and artistic qualities. This is what I would like to pursue at your school.
After researching secondary schools in Australia, I found Sydney girls high school very impressive with its history, moral values and school facilities. Being a part of your school will be a good asset to me as it provides all those opportunities to learn various activities and events. Also, living in a different culture is much valuable experience, which will help me become more diverse and multicultural person.
[part ll]
As I am good with numbers, I would like to work in accounting firm in future. This would require not only good grades from school, but also a balanced development in academic such as moral, physical and artistic qualities. This is what I would like to pursue at your school.
After researching secondary schools in Australia, I found Sydney girls high school very impressive with its history, moral values and school facilities. Being a part of your school will be a good asset to me as it provides all those opportunities to learn various activities and events. Also, living in a different culture is much valuable experience, which will help me become more diverse and multicultural person.
Top answer
Hi springmeans, I corrected some minor spelling and grammar mistakes in your letter; I also changed some of the wording to make it sound better, as seen below: Because I am good with numbers, I would like to work in an accounting firm in the future. This would require not only good grades from school, but also a balanced development in academics, such as moral, physical and artistic qualities. This is what I would like to pursue at your school.
- Hi springmeans, I corrected some minor spelling and grammar mistakes in your letter; I also changed some of the wording to make it sound better, as seen below: Because I am good with numbers, I would like to work in an accounting firm in the future.
- This would require not only good grades from school, but also a balanced development in academics, such as moral, physical and artistic qualities.
- This is what I would like to pursue at your school.
- After researching secondary schools in Australia, I found Sydney Girls High School very impressive with its history, moral values, and school facilities.
- Being a part of your school will be a good asset to me, as it provides all those opportunities I need to learn various activities and events.
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3 Answers
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Hi springmeans,
I corrected some minor spelling and grammar mistakes in your letter; I also changed some of the wording to make it sound better, as seen below:
Because I am good with numbers, I would like to work in an accounting firm in the future. This would require not only good grades from school, but also a balanced development in academics, such as moral, physical and artistic q
I corrected some minor spelling and grammar mistakes in your letter; I also changed some of the wording to make it sound better, as seen below:
Because I am good with numbers, I would like to work in an accounting firm in the future. This would require not only good grades from school, but also a balanced development in academics, such as moral, physical and artistic q
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Thanks heap!!!!
I am not confident when it comes to choose btw 'because' and ' as'....
I thought they were the same....
I am not confident when it comes to choose btw 'because' and ' as'....
I thought they were the same....
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They can be similar, but in this case I thought it would sound smoother to use because.
Glad to be of help! Wish you success!
Glad to be of help! Wish you success!
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