A short essay - need your corrections!

Thanks in advance. I try hard to write at least a short essay or a story every day.

If someone can correct me, or can give me advice, that would be awesome.

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer.



I don’t think the gender role is an absolute one which defines parenting is women’s job. Biologically women have a child for eight of nine month, and they naturally can feed the new born child with mother’s milk. In my opinion, it is very obvious mothers usually have a stronger bond with her kid for the biological reasons; however, parenting is a complicated job and I believe men can make good parents also.

When my mother had me, she was not in good condition. The doctor even told my mother not to have me, but she insisted that she gives me a birth. After she did, as it was expected my mother couldn’t move for a while because she became weak after the birth. It was my father who cared me whenever I cried and wanted to drink milk. Since my grandparents were busy with their jobs, they couldn’t make time, so as soon as my father came back from his workplace, he stayed next to me to take care of me.

These days many people think parenting requires huge amount money. After a kid is born, parents provide them a safe and educational atmosphere, something to eat, and educational support. For example, in many countries, four or five years old children go to nursery school everyday except Sunday. Many parents buy picture books and fairy tales to stimulate them to acquire the mother tongue easily. To make their kids happy, parents also buy toys, canvases and musical instruments. Just considering these, it is obvious that financial support for a child is very crucial in raising a kid. This economic matter is not about women and men. There are many houses which both of parents are working to support their family in my country. Without regarding the gender, I think they do their best to make their kids have a better educational environment by working hard to make money.

A friend of mine has been raised by her mother. She is very independent and her mother is very strict when it comes to education; this one is very different from the wide-spread stereotype –Usually mothers love their kids emotionally, in contrast to it, fathers are very strict. Her mother didn’t want to raise my friend as a girl who likes to cling to her mother’s apron. After her father died in a car crash when she was two, her mother had to work so hard until my friend graduated from the university and got a job. In this process, her mother taught the girl that being independent and strong is the best lesson in life. Here’s one more example that shows why I disagree with the statement given. One of my uncles divorced 8 years ago, when my cousin was six. He had had a hard time since the divorce, but he came to realize that a father could be a good parent as a mother does. He cooks every day for his child. Whenever my cousin comes to visit me, she boasts that his father a good cook is. Now he believes that he knows how to make her happy. He said when he met people who have the bias that a father can’t take care of children as woman does, it made him upset and he used to drink to get the stress out. We had worried about him very much, and he quit drinking for his child. Now he says, “I’m doing very well, and I’ll do well because I love my child” Today, it is not hard to meet someone who has divorced in our neighbor hood. We need to see them as a parent, not a single mother or a single father. Instead of keeping those stereotypes about genders and parenting, we need to face that there are many people who make good role in raising children no matter if they are a woman or a father.