A shaky sentence.. help me

Question

Suppose that these geographers were to collect their data after the quantitative revolution when Schaefer transformed geography from an ideographic to nomothetic science. They would have available to them a plethora of methods drawing upon logical positivism, namely Isard et al’s inverse-distance gravity model, its premise was Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.

Is this expressed as clearly as it could be? Could I write it using fewer words? Also,

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Suppose that these geographers were to collect their data after the quantitative revolution when Schaefer transformed geography from an ideographic to a nomothetic science. They would have had available to them a plethora of methods drawing upon logical positivism, namely Isard et al.’s inverse-distance gravity model, (comma splice) its premise was Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.

Comma splice fixes — non-finite clauses (in order of decreasing appeal)
inverse-distance gravity model, premised upon Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.
inverse-distance gravity model, whose premise was Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.
inverse-distance gravity model, its premise being Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.
inverse-distance gravity model, the premise of which was Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.
inverse-distance gravity model; its premise was Newton’s law of gravity’s inverse square law.

Other comments:
You wrote "plethora of methods", and then named just one. That reads like a non-sequitur.
Newton’s law of gravity’s ... can be rephrased the Newtonian gravitational inverse square law. or the Newtonian inverse square law of gravity.

A shaky sentence.. help me

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions