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Jacko Posted 23 years ago
A "Send this to X number of people" type of poem
Expunge your mind of any thought
Especially that of a distraught
Think of who share your friendship
Hope you see me in that trip
Consider me your friend or not
You'll always have a place in my lot
I may not make you smile all the time
But I'll always share you what is mine
Message may not be written by me
But its writer's gave it to me for thee
To sincerely extend my appreciation
For your warmth friendship and devotion
Especially that of a distraught
Think of who share your friendship
Hope you see me in that trip
Consider me your friend or not
You'll always have a place in my lot
I may not make you smile all the time
But I'll always share you what is mine
Message may not be written by me
But its writer's gave it to me for thee
To sincerely extend my appreciation
For your warmth friendship and devotion
Top answer
Nice poem about friendship. It could be sent to anyone.
- Nice poem about friendship.
- It could be sent to anyone.
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8 Answers
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My little technical objections:
1. "distraught" is not a noun
2. should be "who shareS"
3. fourth line makes no sense to me; what trip?
4. "a place in my lot"????
5. should be "share WITH you"
6. should be "this message"
7. should be "writers," no apostrophe
8. "thee" is archaic, and seems out of place here
9. "to sincerely extend" is a split infiniti
1. "distraught" is not a noun
2. should be "who shareS"
3. fourth line makes no sense to me; what trip?
4. "a place in my lot"????
5. should be "share WITH you"
6. should be "this message"
7. should be "writers," no apostrophe
8. "thee" is archaic, and seems out of place here
9. "to sincerely extend" is a split infiniti
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Haha, kit, ya found a lot of errors, but hey poem does not have to be "gramatically correct," right? Or as I've been told. Anyway, thanks for pointing those out, but yeah, the main idea is the only one I really care about, like for example, there should be a "with" after the third line, but I did not care.
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I know that you have spotted some mistakes but I still think it is a nice poem because it moves me. Right, distraught isn´t a noun but rhymes with thought. Who shareS, correct. It wouldn't be the tenth time that I have heard some native speakers make a mistake by not using the third person singular correctly. Trip and lot are fine by me, so is message. Writers no apostrophe, ok. Ok maybe you cou
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I'll try to implement those corrections if tha's gonna make this better, but yeah thanks for the inputs.
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You are right: a poem doesn't have to be grammatically correct. But you should only break the rules of grammar in poetry (and elsewhere) when there is a purpose in doing so, not "just because."
Okay, I'll make myself stop right here before I get to ranting. This is the sort of statement that REALLY ****** ME OFF.
***
*convulsions on the ***
Okay, I'll make myself stop right here before I get to ranting. This is the sort of statement that REALLY ****** ME OFF.
***
*convulsions on the ***
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I like it, what will happen if I send it to more than 5 people. Don't you normally get something or want some miracle happen? I never send them anyway but I always laugh at the things that get offered. Why don't you complete it and say what will happen?
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What if let's make it an open poem and finish it? Actually, we can start afresh, then at the end of the poem, we put: EnglishForward.com, blah, blah, blah...
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