A practice need to be revised (thx!).

Question

Hi ,

I am a student planning to take IELTS test, however I am poor in writing. I wonder if anyone could
do me a favor to take a look at my practice, many thanks.

Here it is :

Dear Manager:

I am a student who had fortunately taken a part-time job in your company this summer. I really appreciate the chance your gave me to practice my academic knowledge and I have learned more from the job what I took. This Tuesday, I was very glad to receive the salary which you paid me for that job. However, I was disappointed to find that the amount was less than what I expected. Therefore, I am writing to tell you about this in the hope that you can kindly have your concerned department to take a look.

There are some details I need give to you at first. Actually, I was lucky to get that programming job in the computer department of your company on 01^st July. I really enjoyed working in there for this whole summer holiday which was exactly 45 days. According to the temporarily working contrast, I should be paid for a salary of 1500 dollars. However, I found there existing 500 dollars- gap between what I expected and received. So I have to write to you about this matter and I hope you can kindly look into my case and have your financial department to check about it.

Thank you for your kind consideration. I am looking forward for your prompt and favorable reply.

Yours respectfully
XXX

Uwishtoo · Accepted Answer

(missing image)

Dear Manager:
<>I am a student who was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to obtain a part time job in your company this summer. The experience was a big step towards my goals and I am appreciative of the chance to learn from the more experienced workers and superviors that were very helpful in my summer internship. I was fortunate enough to be able to put my academic knowledge as it applied to a real life working situation. This Tuesday, I was very glad to receive the salary which you paid me for that job. However, I was disappointed to find that the amount was less than what I expected. Therefore, I am writing to tell you about this in the hope that you can kindly have the appropriate department that I worked for look over my initial agreement when I decided to take this summer learning experience.

I began my work with your company in the computer department on July 1, 2005 (or whatever year) My employment lasted for 45 days. According to the temporarily working contract that was agreed upon for this opportunity, it was my understanding that I would be paid a salary of 1500.00 dollars. However, once I received my actual pay for the summer employment I found a discrepancy of 500.00 in comparison to the agreement that I am enclosing a copy of. (Note: presuming that you have a copy of it)

I am respectfully asking that your financial department compare my enclosed agreement with what I was paid and explain the difference.

I will look forward to a satisfactory explanation and fast resolution to this matter.

Thank you

Joe Blow
(this way you are not accusing them of ******** you out of money - you lay the partial blame on yourself that youmight have misunderstood.)

Hope this helps

Dmitrij · Answer

Dear friends,

I think both authors are a little bit off coherence and the appropriate style for this kind of letters.
I am not sure about technicalities, but the framework, in my opinion, should be as follows:
1) Opening
2) Statement of the purpose
3) Details
4) Actions to be taken
5) Closing
6) Signature

I rewrote this assignment in hopes that more experienced writers will check it against errors. I also believe that Web4400 will find it useful.

LETTER (154 words)

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to dispute the difference between the salary I received and the compensation specified in my employment agreement with your company.

I am a student who had worked as a part-time programmer in the computer department of your company from July 1st to August 15th. This 45-day working experience was a great opportunity for me to put my academic knowledge into practice. I never had a reason to complain about anything since the working environment at your firm is perfectly organized. Therefore, you could imagine my disappointment when I received a paycheck indicating the amount which was $500 less than $1500 I reasonably expected.

I wonder if you could possibly research the discrepancy and, if warranted, make the necessary adjustment. Enclosed with the letter are copies of my pay check and the employment agreement.

Should you require further information, do not hesitate to contact me at 46533246.

Yours faithfully,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Best wishes,

Dmitrij.

A practice need to be revised (thx!).

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