Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you
Long Summary
A perfect world champion tennis pro, Don Sri-Chang, is an idol for everyone. He is lucky both in work and in love. However, his life takes a turn when his superstar girlfriend turns down his marriage proposal to date a rock star. After having sunk into misery for months, his long-lost friend, Dew, suddenly appears to help heal his broken heart. Can this girl be the game changer in Don’s love life?
Short Summary
Don Sri-Chang, a pro tennis player who spirals into depression after his girlfriend turns down his marriage proposal and dumps him for famous rock star. Can another woman mend his broken heart?
I would write it like this (strikeouts for deletions, bold for additions, brackets for comments): Long Summary A perfect world champion tennis pro, Don Sri-Chang [delete comma] is an idol for everyone. He is lucky both in work and in love. However, his life takes a turn dive when his superstar girlfriend turns down his marriage proposal and begins to date a rock star.
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I would write it like this (strikeouts for deletions, bold for additions, brackets for comments):
Long Summary
A perfect world champion tennis pro, Don Sri-Chang [delete comma] is an idol for everyone. He is lucky both in work and in love. However, his life takes a turn dive when his superstar girlfriend turns down his marriage proposal and begins to date a r