A paragraph to be corrected please,

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"Okay, my dear, let's go home now for I should prepare the food for dinner," said she. I saw a very tired but happy look on her face. We went home. While she was preparing the dinner, I climbed on the sofa, threw myself on it and fell asleep quickly. As of 7:00, I had been in so a deep sleep that my father didn't want to wake me up. At 7:30 I finally woke up and saw my mother preparing the table for dinner and my father looking for a channel on the old radio to listen to some music or news of the day, I rushed to the sink, cleaned my hands and face with water and came at the table. We had our dinner in joy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

osmancataloluk"Okay, my dear, let's go home now for I should prepare the food for dinner," said she.

This is excessively formal language. Not the way to speak in everyday, casual situations. Is that what you intended? If not, it could be simplified.

osmancatalolukI climbed on the sofa, threw myself on it and fell asleep quickly.

The yellow part doesn't make sense. If you were already on it, how can you throw yourself on it? You could write that you collapsed on it, lay back on it or, lay down on it.

osmancataloluka channel on the old radio

The word "channel" is normally used in the context of television. In the context of commercial radio, the word is normally station.

osmancataloluknews of the day, I rushed to the sink,

It would be better to use a full stop after "day".

osmancatalolukcleaned my hands and face with water

Considering that you just mentioned that you were at a sink, it's likely that you would have cleaned your hands and face with water. Therefore, the red part is unnecessary.

osmancatalolukand came at the table.

and went to the table.

osmancatalolukWe had our dinner in joy.

This is odd. You could say: We enjoyed our dinner. Is that what you meant?

Osmancataloluk · Answer

Thanks a lot my mentor,
That is what we taught in classes, I mean the formal language. We know and try to use it in our daily communications. This is not our fault!
But I should thank you for your valuable helps. You taught me a lot.
The last thing; enjoyed our dinner; has two meaning according to me. The one is we loved the meal itself which I am not interested. The second is while having a good meal we talked and chanted in joy. This is the one I tried to wrote, if it is not correct then I forget it. Tell me what to do then?
regards

Anonymous · Answer

osmancatalolukThanks a lot my mentor,That is what we taught in classes, I mean the formal language. We know and try to use it in our daily communications. This is not our fault!

That's understandable. Formal language has its uses in formal situations, like giving a speech or talking in a court, but, it is unnecessary and therefore strange in most, daily situations.

You would benefit from learning what is formal and what is informal, then limiting formal language to formal contexts.

osmancatalolukBut I should thank you for your valuable helps.

You don't need s on the end of help.

You can simplify your first sentence by rewriting it as any of these:

"Okay, dear, let's go home now because I should prepare dinner," she said.

"Okay, dear, let's go home now so I can prepare dinner," she said.

"Okay, dear, let's go home now because I must prepare dinner," she said.

"Okay, dear, let's go home now because I have to prepare dinner," she said.

Osmancataloluk · Answer

Thank you very much my mentor,
This highly interesting but I am still learning English and I am indebted to you.
regards
osman

A paragraph to be corrected please,

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