A long complicated list

Question

Hello

Could you please help me with this long sentence I want to write?

"Prior literature suggests that personality traits and job characteristics of female directors such as commitment to fulfill their responsibilities, a sense of competition against their counterparts (male directors) in the workplace, and a greater presence on the boards have significant effects on the quality of board decision-making and also improve firm performance and shareholders’ satisfaction."

I am worried about how I listed personality traits and job characteristics of female directors

How does the whole sentence seem to you?

thank you in advance

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

farzan
Could you please help me with this long sentence I want to write?
Forgive me for being politely critical. I failed to see how "personality traits and job characteristics" were semantically webbed into the intended meaning of the sentence. This is a semantically muddled parapgraph rather than a sentence. What is " prior literature?" within the context you were writig about? Without any question, the core idea of gender equality at the work place did emmerge in the wording. But the construction and phrasing of these big words failed to deliver satisfactorily. I suggest that you replace or reorganize the high-lighted words to achieve the meaning you had intended so that it flows more easily. As it stands, this long-drawn out sentence showed a lot of words that failed to deliver a clear picture.
"Prior literature suggests that personality traits and job characteristics of female directors such as commitment to fulfill their responsibilities, a sense of competition against their counterparts (male directors) in the workplace, and a greater presence on the boards have significant effects on the quality of board decision-making and also improve firm performance and shareholders’ satisfaction."
I am worried about how I listed personality traits and job characteristics of female directors
How does the whole sentence seem to you?
thank you in advance

A long complicated list

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions