A list of three names in the middle of a sentence?

Question

I have taken a mental blank whilst writing this sentence. It just seems like I've sprinkled one too many commas in this sentence. Is it punctuated correctly? Would I be better using some other form of punctuation?

"This resulted in three retired employees, Angel, Michael and Donald, being added to the ballot even though they could not legally vote in it. "

Enoon · Accepted Answer

Yes, that is not ideal, but it is actually correct. There are several other ways of doing it. Ignoring the issues of the serial comma and the possessive before a gerund:

This resulted in three retired employees, namely, Angel, Michael and Donald, being added to the ballot even though they could not legally vote in it. [there is also "to wit"]

This resulted in three retired employees—Angel, Michael and Donald—being added to the ballot even though they could not legally vote in it.

This resulted in three retired employees (Angel, Michael and Donald) being added to the ballot even though they could not legally vote in it.

This resulted in Angel, Michael and Donald, three retired employees, being added to the ballot even though they could not legally vote in it.

This resulted in three retired employees; Angel, Michael and Donald; being added to the ballot even though they could not legally vote in it.

I like the em dashes, and I hate parentheses. The semicolons come from a rule that calls for them when the sentence contains a list that has commas in it, to avoid confusion, but in this case they just make it worse, I think.

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks very much, I appreciate the help! =)

A list of three names in the middle of a sentence?

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