A fair story 9 punctuation
still looking for the "right" use of punctuation , what reads pleasantly and flows well...(see/review also former posts please, thank you!)
9
Now before all this happiness happened,
before they created man,
they said to themselves,
“We have to make a good backup plan.
If they are ever to fall,
the way Lightbearer did,
we can’t leave them to themselves,
in the darkness it would bring.
We have to rescue them
and reconcile them back with us.
We have to provide a way for them to return
and change their minds.
We need to break through the darkness of their blinded thoughts,
revealing to them that there’s still light.
We need to show them the truth at all costs,
they need to know that we are kind.”
And so they devised this scheme.
If these children were ever to rebel,
they would not permanently throw them out of the garden,
they had placed them in.
Top answer
I really do not understand much of your blank verse, but it is probably due to my lack of background in the mythology and legends. The writing style is very choppy and chunky. That is disconcerting.
- I really do not understand much of your blank verse, but it is probably due to my lack of background in the mythology and legends.
- The writing style is very choppy and chunky.
- That is disconcerting.
- It makes it painful rather than pleasurable, to read.
- But other audiences may like this style.
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I really do not understand much of your blank verse, but it is probably due to my lack of background in the mythology and legends.
The writing style is very choppy and chunky. That is disconcerting. It makes it painful rather than pleasurable, to read. But other audiences may like this style.
0
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