A Dream or A Truth? - Comments please.

Hello all. I would like comments and reviews regarding my essay. As English is my second language, I'm still grasping for the best. And I'm a seventeen year old student from Malaysia and would love to know how I write.

This is a story of me. A truth, yet to be. A dream, ever to be.

The air surrounding was tense. My heart pumped blood aggressively. Water liquids crawl through the sweat glands of my skin, eager to free themselves into the bright sky, exactly what I really felt at that very moment. Then, the desiring hopeful looks of Dad and Mum played dizzily in my head. I couldn't afford to break their very hope of me. Yet the success seemed so far, running and rushing away every time I tried to approach it. Nonetheless, I was in the state of what people named as the nervousness. And the pressuring looks of my colleagues didn't help to calm the raging feel.

The time for war came at last. Preparation for 10 full months seemed nothing, as it could barely ease up the growing tense. Yet, with all the efforts pulled up, God would surely help. That was the fact and the thought I grasped tightly with my bare hands. It was indeed relieving to even think that someone would always be beside you at the very moment you need Him, holding your hands, guiding you through the hard route in front of you. When all hope was lost, He came. That was pure calmness, beyond imagined. And so, it began.

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A wise man once said, time is relative. He was true.

It felt like a thousand years sitting and trying desperately to stand up, only to know that you could had lost everything if you made even a simple mistake. The battlefield was a cruel place, yet the sole peace would emerge soon. Sooner than ever thought. And when it comes, I and you my friends, would be the happiest persons in the world, as if the pursuit of happiness never happened. So bear it up and let not fear engulf us, because Peace is coming.

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The war was over, yet the effects it left seemed permanent.

Several months passed by, swiftly like a golden eagle. The time had come to decide the result of the waging war. Who will win? Me or none. The air was tenser compared to that before the war. Pressure was pushing the nerves of mine heavily. And then, it came. The piece of paper, ordinary yet valuable. Did I won? Or?

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Karim bin Karim 910615-14-6281

Bahasa Melayu 1A
Sejarah 1A
Bahasa Inggeris 1A 1
Matematik 1A
Matematik Tambahan 1A
Kimia 1A
Fizik 1A
Pendidikan Quran Sunnah 1A
Pendidikan Syariah Islamiah 1A
Bahasa Arab 1A
Biologi 1A

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Heavenly it was. Out of sudden, the totality of circumstances surrounding me changed. Some were crying, of joy and of sadness. And the moment my eyes met those of my parents, warmth flowed through my vessels of red. It was the moment I ever wished and dreamed for, ever. Proudest of all prides. Most pleasant of all pleases. And I, felt like never before.

A dream or a truth? You tell me.