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Mr. Tom Posted 9 years ago
Grammar
A diving board runs considerably over a swimming pool.
Hi
Do the following lines make full sense to you -- and do you find them natural? Any suggestions are welcome.
[It is a scene I witnessed in 2012. My friend's friend (who had just started swimming) nervously accepted someone's challenge to dive -- a dive that turned to instant death. I am writing the whole incident as a dialogue between two people.]
A -- Frank had just started swimming and was afraid of diving. So when he nervously accepted Jerry's challenge to dive from the highest diving board, he made sure to do so from the side of the board rather than its end -- perhaps in a vain attempt to fall near the end of the swimming pool, and not in the middle. His head hit the concrete and burst open. He died on the spot.
B -- But doesn't a diving board run considerably over a swimming pool? To me, it's very unlikely that a diver falls out of the pool and not into the water.
Thanks,
Tom
Do the following lines make full sense to you -- and do you find them natural? Any suggestions are welcome.
[It is a scene I witnessed in 2012. My friend's friend (who had just started swimming) nervously accepted someone's challenge to dive -- a dive that turned to instant death. I am writing the whole incident as a dialogue between two people.]
A -- Frank had just started swimming and was afraid of diving. So when he nervously accepted Jerry's challenge to dive from the highest diving board, he made sure to do so from the side of the board rather than its end -- perhaps in a vain attempt to fall near the end of the swimming pool, and not in the middle. His head hit the concrete and burst open. He died on the spot.
B -- But doesn't a diving board run considerably over a swimming pool? To me, it's very unlikely that a diver falls out of the pool and not into the water.
Thanks,
Tom
Top answer
His the concrete and burst open. He died on the spot. He hit his head on the concrete edge of the pool, cracking his head open.
- His the concrete and burst open.
- He died on the spot.
- He hit his head on the concrete edge of the pool, cracking his head open.
- He died instantly.
- That could happen if he was standing on the board too close to the edge of the pool.
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2 Answers
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His the concrete and burst open. He died on the spot.
He hit his head on the concrete edge of the pool, cracking his head open. He died instantly.
That could happen if he was standing on the board too close to the edge of the pool. Maybe he stood on the edge on a foot or two into the board. It would be fairly easy to hit the side of pool like that. That wa
He hit his head on the concrete edge of the pool, cracking his head open. He died instantly.
That could happen if he was standing on the board too close to the edge of the pool. Maybe he stood on the edge on a foot or two into the board. It would be fairly easy to hit the side of pool like that. That wa
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Mr. TomDo the following lines make full sense to you -- and do you find them natural?I presume you mean the highlighted portions. B's sentence seems a little confusing. I suggest something like 'extend well beyond the edge' or 'well out over the water'. There are some other problems:
A -- Frank had just started learning to swim and was a
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