3 sentences please help

Question

Could someone take a look at the following 3 sentences?

1 In order to make an intense trailer for a movie, you need to start off very calm and have in culminate with intense scene. So for the culmination, take bits and pieces of scenes that have action (in them) and use them to get the viewer on the edge of his seat by the time the trailer is over. (Is IN THEM optional?) and is the sentence correct?

2 Are you made/meant for this job cause I tell you, you really need to be made/meant for this job if you want to get past the first week. (SPOKEN)

3 My job was to make it look like we met by accident and be mean to you so you knew what you were missing out on by leaving you're ex boyfriend.

4 She has a nicer left side than right side./Her left side is nicer than her right. (I know the latter sounds better but is the FIRST OK?)

THe bold parts are the stuff I'm not sure about, the rest as well , but mainly the bold.

Thanks

Alc24 · Accepted Answer

Anyone please?

Benny777 · Answer

1 In order to make an intense trailer for a movie, you need to start off very calm and have in culminate with intense scene.

"You need to start off very calm" is going to be misleading to the person reading this, because it implies that the person is the one who needs to start off very calm. Instead, insert the word "it" between start and off, so we know what is starting off very calm. "you need to start it off very calm".

After the word "and", you should insert the word "then", because "then" expresses that something different is going to happen, now that the first thing is finished. "and then have".

Also, the word "in" is not the word you meant to use, "in" is a preposition that shows movement toward the inside of something. Rather , you want to use the word "it" again, because "it" is the pronoun that is referring to the trailer you spoke about at the beginning of your sentence.

"culminate with intense scene". Usually, you're going to want to put an article before an adjective and a noun. At the beginning of your sentence you said "an intense trailer" and "a movie", which are both correct. Now at the end of this sentence you want "an" once again. So here would be your modified first sentence. "In order to make an intense trailer for a movie, you need to start it off very calm and then have it culminate with an intense scene.

So for the culmination, take bits and pieces of scenes that have action (in them) and use them to get the viewer on the edge of his seat by the time the trailer is over. (Is IN THEM optional?) and is the sentence correct?

I love this sentence, you did a great and accurate job describing how to make a good movie trailer. In them is indeed optional, and if I were you I would choose not to have it. The reason why you might not want to put it in there is related to the problem I spoke to you about in your other post, and that would be to avoid "wordiness".

2 Are you made/meant for this job cause I tell you, you really need to be made/meant for this job if you want to get past the first week. (SPOKEN)

Either made or meant works, quite honestly, it's up to you. Go with the one that sounds more natural when you say it out loud. However, I do have another piece of advice in regards to the second part of this sentence. Instead of saying "made/meant for this job", what if you were to eliminate that part of the second sentence altogether? You would be left with, "Are you made/meant for this job cause I tell you, you really need to be if you want to get past the first week". At this point I won't tell you why you can avoid it, rather I would like you to figure it out on your own. I think you can probably guess, because it relates to some common errors I've noticed in your sentence,

. Also, one last thing. "Are you made/meant for this job cause I tell you" . When you say the first part of this sentence, do you pause before "cause"? If you pause before cause, ask yourself what you should add before the word "cause" in your sentence to make it reflect how you would say it out loud.

3 My job was to make it look like we met by accident and be mean to you so you knew what you were missing out on by leaving you're ex boyfriend.

I find nothing wrong with this sentence, I spoke it out loud to myself and it sounded just fine.

4 She has a nicer left side than right side./Her left side is nicer than her right. (I know the latter sounds better but is the FIRST OK?)

The first is ok, and you're correct in saying that the latter sounds better.

3 sentences please help

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