250-word essay

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

Please evaluate my essay below, and give me ideas suggestion if possible. Thanks.

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Essay topic:

"Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion."

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"It is considered by some that gap years are beneficial for youngsters while others vehemently oppose. There are arguments on both sides which this essay will discuss below.

On the one hand, supporters of gap years say that there are practical skills that cannot be learned in school. For example, a situation where one has to negotiate the price of a commodity while abroad and without speaking the host language would be more effective than several weeks of lectures on negotiation skill. Furthermore, activity such as abroad traveling is believed to increase one's independence and assertiveness in areas such as time management and interpersonal skills, mostly because they have to make their own decisions most of the time.

On the other hand, opponents of gap years insist that one or two years without schooling would distract a young's mind away from studying. For example, students who work may start to enjoy making money as opposed to spending it on tuition. Those students often forget the fact that further education would actually increase their earning power in the long run. Furthermore, without the academic setting, many youngsters may indulge themselves and get involved in distractions such as traveling. As a result, this makes them struggle to adjust to university life. Finally, the cost involved in areas such as travel costs, accommodation, and living expenses has to come from the student's family or from borrowing, which would put a financial burden on their families later on.

All in all, while there are certain benefits to taking some time off schools, I feel that students should not do so as they lack the required discipline and that they could neglect long-term goals because it often conflicts with their immediate interest."

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