Is there anyone to suggest me for my letter of motivation
I Mohaneesh Ujjene a Bachelor in Production Engineering from the University of Mumbai, belonging to a science background my Mother a Bachelor in Science in Mathematics specialization currently a Math’s school teacher and my Father who is a Mechanical Diploma Engineer who served 38 years of his life working in the world of German Machines in a U.K based manufacturing company (G.K.W) as a Machine operator, the way in which my father described me the working of the Machines, the mass manufacturing processes their mechanisms and the way in which they are designed and laid out inspired me and made me more and more curious such that I started digging a well of knowledge inside and led myself exploring in the Ocean of treasure of Mechanical by learning the different mechanisms there linkages with one another, the working principle of those mechanisms by assembling and disassembling them and by referring manuals, books watching videos on the YouTube, the designing soft wares like AutoCAD, Solidworks etc. Many times I got stuck as the thing did not worked like previous or failed completely for which my parents had to bear loss, however I never gave off, Despite of I learned more which gave birth to numerous qualities like what’s called problem solving and error spotting skills to originate inside me, I kept learning, grasping and acquiring new concepts, skills and knowledge day by day marching towards excellence till the day I was struck by a thought as “what if I would have a perfect platform wherein I can flourish my talent, let professors guide and mentor me in a perfect manner where I can find friends of my own taste” for which I researched and found XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX UNIVERSITY to be the one of the best.
The world around us is governed by Engineers they are the one who can kindly be stated to be responsible for differentiating a human from an animal by making this world a better place. I have a Dream for which the prime objective what I have set for its accomplishment is to secure an admission for Master’s later to develop my previous skills acquire the new ones to make myself more technically and practically sound and to inculcate myself with the specialized techniques, value’s and fundamentals which are a must necessity for a Production Engineer to work and research in the field of Mechanical and Manufacturing. Along with the course I will develop fluency in XXXXXXXXX, after completion of Master’s I would seek to get employed in a company which would have one of its branch in my home country (There are more than 300 XXXXXX based manufacturing companies having more than 1000 branches across XXXXXX), wherein making the best use of the knowledge and the experience that I have acquired throughout my curriculum and contribute my best towards the growth and betterment of the respective industry in and outside my home country, wherein I would like to take challenging assignments and projects.
After completion of this phase of my courier I will be a self-reliant, independent and moreover enough mature to take the final steps towards the accomplishment of my Dream that is (I want contribute myself in taking a step further for making this world a better place through technology and by the Inventions which I would make, the Kaizens that I formulate and by my experiments and research work.) This can be witnessed from my project Internship wherein I had some of the major contributions for the modifications that I have made in some of the manufacturing process like
1. Replaced an Oil-based coolant (Neat cut-12) by a water-based coolant (Blasso-cut) by observation, research and lastly by an experiment which concluded Brass components have no dimensional change and they do not rust even if water based coolant is used. 2. Designed a tray for CNC Machines which can filter the scrap and chips from coolant such that the coolant can be recycled again in the machine without any additional operation 3. Reduced cycle time in some of CNC Machines by modifying the previous G and M codes and by a few changes in design of the Die. 4. Laid out a new Visual management system on shop-floor and designed a tray ergonomically such that it reduced strain for the laborers and eased them in loading and un-loading of Die’s on Die casting and press-shop Machines.
Apart of education I am more of kind of a Free-lance explorer I love to travel far and wide and to exploit the beauty of nature I love hiking (This one of my other reason for choosing XXXXXXXX and learning XXXXXXXX as we share similar kind of hobbies.) The Basic Mountaineering Course which I have successfully completed from Himalayan Mountaineering Institute is evidence to it.
As far as my personality is concerned I am a Smart-fighter with an Innovative thinking who analyses the complex situations and problems pretty well and tactfully deals with them, promote solutions and predicts outcomes. The way in which students are taught in XXXXXXXXXX University have boosted my confidence, the students are being made to conceptualize the matter with the theoretical knowledge, wherein they learn things more of in a technical orientation and practical approach. It is quiet flexible as compared to my recent university which provided me good theoretical exposure. A diverse search has led me to conclude that M.Sc in XXXXXXXXXXXXX is one of the best tailored made specialization and can serve me as an excellent platform where I could flourish myself.The course involves deep and broad concepts in terms of manufacturing engineering, Material technology and manufacturing processes design along with management skills as an icing on the cake, The course is compiled with every minute aspect what a Production engineer needs to have impregnated within himself. It would serve me as a backbone for achieving my dream come true. I am confident and qualify for the same it would be a golden opportunity for me for which I assure you to make the best out of it. ...
Yours sincerely, Mohaneesh Ujjene
Top answer
Your first sentence is 165 words long! Have you heard of a full stop? Try to be concise and to the point.
— Teechr
Your first sentence is 165 words long!
Have you heard of a full stop?
Try to be concise and to the point.
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mohaneeshThanxx for your advice I will make it short any further suggestion
- Your letter needs to be concise (I would suggest under a page long), clear from the outset, structured and formal.
- You're not writing a story about your life here; rather, you're introducing your credentials and trying to convince an academic institution that you're a suit