Hi everyone, I have a motivation letter and a revised it a few times, sp can you read and tell me your feedbacks please ? thank you

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To whom may it concern,

The purpose of this letter to show my intention to do my MSc at Consumer Affairs at Technische Universität München which begins(takes place ?) in October 2014.

I currently am studying Business Adiministration at Anadolu University,Turkey and expect to graduate by the end of the June 2014. I have 3.12 GPA over 4.00 and until now I have been in top 10% students at my faculty and as a prize, I was exempted from paying tuition for one term. Furthermore, I was honoured with certificate many times because my GPA was over than 3.00. Business Administration is a multi disciplined department and since begining my bachelors, I have always been interested in Marketing and paid my attention (on? ) to it.

In addition to my studies, I have worked in student organizations for one year. I have worked in two different student organizations that arranged panel discussions,seminars and workshops attendance with people from business world. In both clubs, I have been volunteer student and I worked at introduction stands as promoter with my collaguages and made field marketing and distributed flyers. Personally, I learnt there how to communicate and convince to people and approach to them and understood the vitality of taking responsibility and being a team member. Besides, I had got right to attend Erasmus programme when I was in my third year and went to Czech Republic,Prague. I studied there for 4 months and improved my english capabilities also met so many people from around the world and gained there an international mind. Moreover, I took there the courses related with economics, marketing and management. At the end of a course there which was Marketing in Automotive Industry, I was included to a final presentation there which was about opening a public campaign for Skoda cars and outlining customer profile of it. The result was appreciated by my lecturer and friends which I helped to them to build up their own duties. Meanwhile, I had succeeded to found some business contacts there and met an Uzbek and Czech young entrepreneurs and arranged an internship related with customer care for the next term after my erasmus semester, however I had to resigned after a while because the work conditions was not provided that had been compromised before.
After I had come back to Turkey again, I worked as volunteer again in a youth project which organized by Anna Lindh Foundation and Project was getting together the youngsters from the mediterranean countries. We made workshops there about cultural diversity, sustainability of the environment and sources,so it was a valuable international experience for me.After all those, it was time to concern about the future of academical life (daha iyi bir cümle aklima gelmedi) and I decided to do my master at Germany after strong advices and having some facts about German Universities' quality,seriousness and validity of its diplomas that had been told me by a German friend of mine. While my courses still going on, I developed my German at Goethe Institut and by the way got the IELTS exam and had IELTS 6.5 Academic score in the frame of my aims. Currently, I still do my internship in Istanbul at a Social Media Marketing Agency. I have chance here to apply my theoritical knowledges in to real life such as search engine optimization and tracking customer feedbacks on twitter and facebook then analysing and reporting them to my seniors.

Consumer Affairs department prepares its students to meet the new demands of new type of customers by focusing of the structure, behaviour of it. Customer behaviour research, Organizational Psychology and Gender Studies, Advanced Technology and Innovation Management and Consumer history are the courses which I am into in so much and they are also appreciated by my marketing lecturer at my university. Another point that appeals me is doing project works in practice with other students in reality and wide variety job and internship opportunities of Munich.

My professional target is after working at the international companies that is possible both in Turkey and Germany, getting involved with marketing more and consumer researchs in an academical environment. I am aware that the harsh requirement conditions and qualifications that is expected from applicants and I hope that my ambitiousness, self-confidence and enthusiasm is enough to get an acception from your instuition.

I would like to thank you to consider me and look forward to your positive feedback.

Best Regards,