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Anonymous Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
My work experience!! HELP to correct a text!!
My name is Nina and I´m a German high school student. In January I did a practical work experience in a public nursery school where I got to work with babies and toddlers.
My English teacher wants me to write an essay (150 words, past tense!) about my experience and I wrote a text. Could anyone please correct it? That would be awesome.
Thanks, Nina
My practical work experince
From January to March I did a practical work experience in a public nursery school called "AWO-Kinderhaus". The AWO (Arbeiterwohlfahrt) is a labour welfare that used to support deprived people. Nowadays the AWO especially supports people with disabilities and seniors. The association has also established huge nursery schools all over the country.
Most of my time at the nursery school I worked with babies and toddlers up to 3 years of age in a small group with only 10 children called "Erdmännchen". The thing I enjoyed most about working with the little ones was that I got the chance to support the child`s learning process playful and really making a positive difference. I loved to spend time with kids, they`re very honest. Even the little kids told me straight to my face what they like and what they didn`t like about me, but I never thought that they were mean or unkind, just frank.
My daily responsibilities included to play with the children, e.g. to dress up or play hide-and-seek, to sing and dance with them, to do arts and crafts with them and to look after them and their needs, e.g. to help them to eat, to change their diapers and to put them to bed for a nap.
I also planned and guided activities. One of the activities I did was to stimulate the children`s senses, especially the tactile sense. At home I prepared a box with stuff to touch such as cotton and fir cones. I put gold paper all around the box and drew stars on that paper. To motivate the children I brought a hand puppet and talked to them "through" that puppet. I told the kids that brought a friend and introduced the hand puppet to them. The hand puppet gave them the box and asked them to put their hands in the box and us what they`re feeling without watching. It was great to see them being excited and happy. All of them were concentrated and motivated during the whole activity.
I´ve had an amzing time with the chidren and my colleagues and improved all of my child-care skills from this experience. I learnt to be a good example to children because I`m sure they learn best through modeling. I´ve made the experience that it`s important for children to learn that they`re limits to their behaviour and learnt to set limits. Now I have the strength to be consequent if needed.
I`ve always loved to care for or simply be with children and I really want to take a 2-year-training course at college to become a nursery school teacher.
My English teacher wants me to write an essay (150 words, past tense!) about my experience and I wrote a text. Could anyone please correct it? That would be awesome.
Thanks, Nina
My practical work experince
From January to March I did a practical work experience in a public nursery school called "AWO-Kinderhaus". The AWO (Arbeiterwohlfahrt) is a labour welfare that used to support deprived people. Nowadays the AWO especially supports people with disabilities and seniors. The association has also established huge nursery schools all over the country.
Most of my time at the nursery school I worked with babies and toddlers up to 3 years of age in a small group with only 10 children called "Erdmännchen". The thing I enjoyed most about working with the little ones was that I got the chance to support the child`s learning process playful and really making a positive difference. I loved to spend time with kids, they`re very honest. Even the little kids told me straight to my face what they like and what they didn`t like about me, but I never thought that they were mean or unkind, just frank.
My daily responsibilities included to play with the children, e.g. to dress up or play hide-and-seek, to sing and dance with them, to do arts and crafts with them and to look after them and their needs, e.g. to help them to eat, to change their diapers and to put them to bed for a nap.
I also planned and guided activities. One of the activities I did was to stimulate the children`s senses, especially the tactile sense. At home I prepared a box with stuff to touch such as cotton and fir cones. I put gold paper all around the box and drew stars on that paper. To motivate the children I brought a hand puppet and talked to them "through" that puppet. I told the kids that brought a friend and introduced the hand puppet to them. The hand puppet gave them the box and asked them to put their hands in the box and us what they`re feeling without watching. It was great to see them being excited and happy. All of them were concentrated and motivated during the whole activity.
I´ve had an amzing time with the chidren and my colleagues and improved all of my child-care skills from this experience. I learnt to be a good example to children because I`m sure they learn best through modeling. I´ve made the experience that it`s important for children to learn that they`re limits to their behaviour and learnt to set limits. Now I have the strength to be consequent if needed.
I`ve always loved to care for or simply be with children and I really want to take a 2-year-training course at college to become a nursery school teacher.
Top answer
This is way more than 150 words, Nina.
- This is way more than 150 words, Nina.
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7 Answers
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It is exactly 436 words long, Julie, which is something like treble what she had been asked for. But, I wonder, is writing all what you think necessary for your essay something that should be punished?
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Hi,
Perhaps the teacher believes that brevity will force the writer to think about what was really important in the experience.
Best wishes, Clive
Perhaps the teacher believes that brevity will force the writer to think about what was really important in the experience.
Best wishes, Clive
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You misunderstood me Clive, I was just asking Julie for her own opinion about this. (I'd like to know yours as well)
I'ts quite obvious that her teacher had asked her for a 150-word-long essay and that she should have 'followed' that rule.
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I'ts quite obvious that her teacher had asked her for a 150-word-long essay and that she should have 'followed' that rule.
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YoHfYou misunderstood me Clive, I was just asking Julie for her own opinion about this. (I'd like to know yours as well)
I'ts quite obvious that her teacher had asked her for a 150-word-long essay and that she should have 'followed' that rule.
Clive has already answered that question for me. :-)
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JulielaiClive has already answered that question for me. :-)I see Julie. Darn, you teachers do want to force us students to have a fiendish time trying to shorten our works as much as possible, don't you?
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