Man Vs Woman Real meaning of their English

Real meanings of Women’s English, For Men,
We need = I want
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

Real meanings of Men’s English, For Women,
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
"I'm tired" = I'm tired
What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this
"What's wrong?" = what meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different!
I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!